There is no reason to beat a dead horse but I must say this once again that I really need to get better at this. Let me start with a short story from where we left off...
Thanksgiving was spent with the Brown side of the family this year. Like a good photographer I took a whopping three pictures all weekend. The weekend was good fun and it was nice to eat to my hearts content, and let me tell you it was YUMMY!
Christmas time rolled around and we spent it with the Bigler side of the family. Christmas Eve we went to my in-laws to stay the night and had a Wii sword fighting contest where I swear I tore my rotator cuff. I couldn't move my right arm past my belly button without yelping. It took a good week to recover. It made me realize that my dream of becoming a professional fencer swirled on down the drain into oblivion.
All in all it was a good holiday season for us in the Bigler household, even if I have but two paragraphs to show for it.
As many of you know my life from about the end of October to mid-February is consumed by wrestling. As much as I gripe and moan I really do enjoy it. Yes, every weekend is spent on the road with a bunch of stinky teenage boys but they are the funniest group of teenage boys I have ever met. I enjoy watching Bradford coach those boys and set the on the right path, not just with wrestling but with life. The past two years there have been two boys on his team that have gotten baptized and one is on his mission. As much stress and voice-less days those boys cause me, they truly are examples to each other and to me.
Here I am blogging for the first time in 6 months and I have 800 things to say but not sure how to start. I had started a post on my struggles with infertility. It seemed like I spent more nights crying and clinging to Bradford over the lack of children in my life than I did happy. I was totally and completely happy for friends and family members but there was always a tiny twinge deep in the pit of my stomach longing for that, longing for the one thing we as women were placed on this Earth for. From the beginning of this world we were placed here with the potential for motherhood and when that opportunity evades us nothing can compare to the sense of loss you feel, the sense of loss I felt. Not very long ago I was reading a story in the Ensign titled "Faith and Infertility". Knowing I have my faith to cling to gives me some comfort in those moments of deep hardships and trials.
Here now it's Mothers Day and I not very long ago I was celebrating my "potential" motherhood, now today Bradford and I are completely happy to announce and I truly celebrating my first "real" Mothers Day!
We are completely excited and thrilled to be having our OWN baby! I am so excited but it still doesn't seem real to me. Having gone so long without it makes such good news seem unbelievable. I stare at my fridge everyday realizing that little peanut is mine and I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for the struggles and tears I went through to get to this point. I know I am prepared more so now than I ever have been to have this baby and to love and care for it more than my own life. Of course Bradford is pretty dang excited to but I have commandeered this blog so his happiness will be expressed through me. Along with my happiness comes my hopes and prayers for those who struggled just like me for something as special at this. I know the Lord has his timeline and in His time we all will be blessed.So until next time...bon voyage! The next update will probably be closer the the end of May with my 12 week appointment. WOO! HOO!
